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The (Un)Balanced Life

The balanced life gets plenty of lip service. While the origin can be traced back much further, the modern visual representation of this concept is credited to Dr. William Hettler in 1976. He identified seven “dimensions” of wellness which could be utilized to attain a balanced life. Those included physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, environmental, social and occupational domains. While conceptually valuable as a tool for identifying notable gaps in our lives, the transition from the initial concept into a “wellness wheel” model created an unfortunate fissure. With the visual of a wheel came the natural connection to that of a bicycle or car, where lack of balance across the various areas creates negative consequences. Speakers and writers waxed eloquently (and unceasingly) about the importance of such balance and providing various assessments and tools (for a small additional charge, of course) to insure optimal “balance” was achieved and maintained.
Ignore them. The balanced life is not – and should not be – reality. Nor should it be held up as a goal or targeted outcome. Life is lived (if it’s really lived) in phases. We change and adjust over time, with resources constantly shifting across the various dimensions as the current phase indicates. A life of courageous vitality, in contrast to one spent checking the appropriate boxes, doesn’t develop by monitoring the balance of our wheel. It comes to fruition through optimizing for the phase of life we’re currently (fully) living!
With that said, there IS one significant danger lurking within the phase optimization process: the destruction of one or more key areas. As we lean in on one specific phase of life, it makes perfect sense to devote additional (thus unbalancing) resources to that particular area. However, in the process, we simultaneously must avoid permanently damaging the foundational elements that allow courageous vitality to extend over a lifetime, beyond our current window of time. This is where tuning into the F5 can play a valuable role.
The F5 was developed in the early 21st century as a simplified process of self-evaluation across the key foundational aspects of life. They are comprised of the following:
  • Family/Friends: key relationships
  • Fuel/Fitness: physical sustainers
  • Faith: spiritual components
  • Field of Play: our work and hobbies
  • Finances: money matters
The role of the F5 is not to seek balance between them, but rather to insure none of these foundational components is being ignored (or worse – destroyed) during a particular phase of life when our focus is directed elsewhere. For example, the individual who steps into a new promotion at work is very likely to be working additional hours. Makes sense. That’s part of this phase she’s in. Life is about trade-offs, and for friends, a coach, or a columnist (!) to suggest she must seek “balance” is ludicrous, ignoring the reality of her current phase. However, while balance isn’t a worthy target, she does want to be on the lookout for potential cracks in the foundation. This is where the F5 overview can pay longterm dividends.
  • Family/Friends – maybe the weekend getaway trips are off the schedule for the next six months but where can she continue to stay connected in meaningful ways in the interim.
  • Fuel/Fitness – now isn’t the time to pick up that half marathon goal she’d set, but it’s also not the time to entirely ignore fuel/fitness integration. Maybe the daily routine shifts to a 30 minute morning run from the house instead of the trip to the gym through the spring and summer, saving commute and transition time while maintaining a reasonably healthy baseline.
  • Faith – many directions available here but the key is to avoid neglecting connection with the deeper aspects of this mystery-laden life as we chase societally rewarding pursuits.
  • Finances – In theory, this phase – the promotion – is enhancing her top line revenue. But we must remember it’s not how much money we make but rather how much we keep that drives future opportunities. Even a significant top-line raise can turn into a discouraging bottom-line loss as our longer hours and accompanying fatigue can trigger flash purchases, low barrier food and beverage purchases and retail therapy outings.
  • Field of Play is inherently covered by this particular example but an important item of note to consider: The reason for the term “field of play” (beyond it starting with “f” of course :-)) is to remind us that in the vast majority of situations, we choose the (work or hobby) field on which we play. Yes, there are some short-term exceptions related to life circumstances. However, those are rare, and in most cases can be addressed over time with purposeful planning. For most, tuning into the choice is freeing. In both our professional pursuits and hobbies, just as we chose to step onto that field… we can also choose to step off if we realize it’s the wrong field. If you notice yourself frequently using the vitality busting words/phrases discussed in previous columns (have to, should, busy, fine…), it might be time to consider alternatives.
What is your current phase? Maybe it’s pursuing a new degree, raising a child, training for a triathlon/marathon, moving across country, beginning a new relationship or any number of different, but important phases of life. You’re not riding a bike – you’re fully living… in this phase… right here… right now! Stop focusing on whether your wheel is in perfect balance and go ride! Just remember not to ride off a cliff along the way 😉

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